Role Reversal

Automobiles transcend other possessions. They are part of our identity, almost like a member of the family. After a lifetime of mobility, the prospect of losing that aspect of independence can be seriously frightening. But, what do you do when your parent is no longer safe on the road? Here are some suggestions.

A familiar story

Mike picked up the ringing phone one day, and was surprised to hear his father, who had poor hearing and didn't like to use the phone:

"Where is the $4,000 from my pick-up truck?"

Momentarily taken aback, Mike struggled to remember the source of the question. Ah, that's right. A few months back, Mike's mother had been gravely worried about his father's driving. Suffering from moderate dementia, Mike's dad was a danger to himself and others on the road. Neighbors sometimes saw him weaving and driving erratically. But when she tried to talk to him about not driving, Mike's dad would become uncharacteristically furious. It was a big problem fraught with danger.

Mike volunteered to be the "excuse." His father would do anything to help the family, and readily agreed to loan the truck to Mike, who lived about 100 miles away. In actuality, his mother simply parked the truck on the next block. With the truck out of sight, his father soon forgot about it. A few months later, his mother used the opportunity to sell the vehicle to the gardener, and banked the money.

Then, in a moment of clarity, Mike's father remembered the truck. His wife, not wanting to spark a rage, simply said, "Mike sold it. Remember?"